Mom’s Day: In Retrospection
As I was busy spending Mother’s Day with my family yesterday I was unable to sit down and write out a post about said holiday. I don’t get real excited about Mother’s Day for two reasons, 1) I’m not a mother and 2) I’m lazy. However, I do realize the importance of the day and I try to peel my butt off of the couch to make token effort for my wife. I figure it’s the least I can do since she tells me that I am her biggest child. This is good because my own mother tells us that she has relinquished her duties to my wife and that I am “her problem now”.
There are a lot of similarities between my mom and my wife. Sometimes I like to tell my wife that I married my mother. My father liked to make us kids laugh. My mom would roll her eyes at him and then ignore his antics. My wife does the exact same thing when I am goofing around. She doesn’t see the humor in my shenanigans.
My mom can have a short fuse. She once made a furniture salesman cry for not providing prompt and courteous service. He was a grown man reduced to a sobbing mess in his own workplace. My wife is much the same. She has a stare that can curdle a man’s insides and put him in the fetal position. Permanently.
Mom doesn’t take shit from anybody, not even her kids. She once cold-cocked me in the face when I said “Good morning” to her. I asked her, “What was that for?” and she said, “I’m just reminding you of what happens when you step out of line.” My wife is a little more subtle with our kids. A few months ago she held down our son and gave him a wedgie so bad that it ripped his underwear. When he begged for mercy she stood up, smacked his butt and called him a “wussy”.
All informing joking aside, both of these ladies mean a lot to me. My mom raised me in a loving home. She sang to me when I was sick. She hugged me when I was scared. She verbally berated a cop on my behalf and kept me out of jail when I was six. She is wonderful and the best mom anyone could ask for.
Now my amazing wife takes care of me and our children. She does it well. When she is gone we are lost without her. She is the first person the kids call for when they are hurt. She is the first person they go to for advice. She is the glue that keeps our family together.
I would like to say thank you to both of them for putting up with me, for loving me unconditionally, and supporting me. If more mothers were like them the world would be a better place. We would all have black eyes and ripped underwear but the world would be better.
Thanks, I think. You make me sound like a child abuser. I’m pretty sure if I cold-cocked you first think in the morning I probably had a good reason. Most likely it was an accident. I did berate the cop and found out later he had good reason for having you in the back seat of his car. Don’t belive everything your children tell you. The truth comes out many, many years later. The paybacks for the furniture incident was having to spend 8 long years working in a furniture store. And I do apolgize for singing to you, enough said.
Remember Ma, nobody laughs at the sentimental stuff. I wouldn’t trade any moment I have ever spent with you for anything. You and Dad made me the man I am today. I love you.
Life definitely gets in the way of blogging, that’s for sure!